The Good, The True, and The Beautiful

The Pleasures of Book Hunting

johnshelley — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 18:58:14 +0000

I had the pleasure of spending some to time at a classy used and rare book store downtown Asheville earlier this afternoon. The Captain’s Bookshelf has been one of my favorite retreats from Hendersonville over the last year or so. This store almost glows from the beauty of neatly shelved books from a wide array of topics. It is by far the quintessential book store one thinks of when the desire for hunting book treasures comes to mind. Should you decided to stop by the store be sure to bring lots of time and money with you because if you are a true book lover this store will whisper that lover’s song known all to well to those who suffer from the unquenchable desire to hunt for good books. It is not often that I am able to afford the time and money to go, however when I do I am never disappointed.

Today’s treasures include the following:

The Later Roman Empire by Averil Cameron
The Roman Republic by Michael Crawford
Handbook of Christian Feasts and Customs by Francis X. Weiser
Ancient Ships by Cecil Torr, M.A. 1894 First Edition
The Christian Platonists of Alexandria by Charles Bigg 1913

Updating Granny’s House

johnshelley — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 07:25:58 +0000

Over the last year I have been making adjustments and improvements to the interior of my grandmother’s house. These include painting walls, stripping double layers of wall paper off walls, and swapping out furniture. New art, cleaned carpets, and a new vision mixing cottage, vintage, and modern styles has brought an entirely new feel to my home. My grandmother passed away several months ago, giving me free reign to adjust the house as desired. For those of you whom have visited the house and seen its original state you may be a bit surprised:

On Friendship: The Blessings of a Kindred Spirit

johnshelley — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 03:46:12 +0000

Deep satisfaction comes with true friendship where one is able to be one’s self without presumptuous expectations suffocating our desire to be free from the judgment of others. Over the last year I have had the wonderful privilege of experiencing the pleasures of kindness, laughter, love, and joy from those who took time out of their busy schedules to invest in me. In turn, they opened their worlds up, showing their vulnerabilities and weaknesses; allowed me to also participate in their lives. Mutual respect, honesty, sincerity, and vulnerability are some of my favorite qualities of such friendships. The cultivation of these friendships is mutual, not one sided and for that I am deeply grateful. To those of you who have had me as a guest in your homes, had me over for dinner, listened to my heart and shared yours with me, I wish to say thank you. This post is dedicated to those who demonstrated time and again that regardless of the time or distance apart, that your desire to have me as your friend has not gone unnoticed and has not in slightest been taken for granted.

The unity of brothers and sisters in Christ that trickles down through friendships is a spiritual blessing and gift. Those of you who have pursued my heart, challenged my thinking, and confronted me on my behavior I will forever be in gratitude because of your love for Christ and its natural flow through you to love me boldly. Many of you, brothers and sisters, have touched my life over the last year in profound ways. Your wisdom and insight, freely shared and offered with no expectations has truly proven to be helpful as I make choices and swim through the messiness of life. I am honored to know you and will continue to look forward to participating in life knowing that you all share and passionately pursue life knowing that Christ did something for us that we could not do for ourselves. This knowledge produces grace and in that grace I am free to be myself and to stumble as I do, knowing that your love and kindness is not based solely on my behavior. Thank you.

tonight i danced

johnshelley — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 06:00:56 +0000

Tonight I danced! I entered the ocean of sound and became completely part of its molecular structure, each note taking on my bones and muscles, even my blood pumped melodies as the heavy beats of Daft Punk lurched through the air and pounded on the walls. I couldn’t help but move: gyrating, jumping, twirling, lunging, and flinging myself about like a drunkard on caffeine. I ran, panted and ached as pain shot through my lethargic lazy body, beads of sweat poured down my face. Water, lots of water and then more dancing!

I was blessed to inherit a very stable sound system with large speakers from the 70s; its base abilities were probably never utilized until now. Their virgin tongues bellowed The Gaithers for years, though now both grandparents are gone and the speakers are now mine to maximize their fullest potential. This means they get to scream, tongues flapping with electrifying beats from worlds their souls never knew existed.

I switched the ancient CD player over to the Messiah, turned up the sound and like a rushing wind intimately woos an autumn sprinkled forest, the choir swept my heart up intimately and affectionally reminding my soul of true beauty. Now as I write, my mind and heart is massaged with the wonderfully brilliant and honest words of Mumford and Sons.

Addicted to the American Dream

johnshelley — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 01:22:08 +0000

We can exhaust ourselves at work, flank ourselves with the latest gadgets and with great impunity pursue those hidden desires that offer more than they can truly provide. Happiness does not come in materialistic form so it cannot be controlled, though we think we can conjure up unknown potions and create our personal ideal of happiness. The American dream can be sinister, especially when stripped of the consequences of our choices, making it difficult to comprehend in the face of a culture wrecked with divorce and debt. The accolades of American culture are intriguing because of the honors bestowed upon those whom place such a high value on personal independence. So we become alone in our little worlds cultivating our own freedom. We fight the world alone, try to improve ourselves alone, enter relationships alone, contain our pains and joys alone; to the point that our independence becomes our prison and our prison our facade.

The pursuit of the American dream is often thought of as materialistic and narcissistic self-centeredness based on creating just the right habitat for happiness to bloom. While these factors often exist, they are not the essence of the American dream. The American dream is not a philosophy of what, but a philosophy of how. It’s not a question of what I want but how am I going to achieve what I want. It’s the pursuit of the how where our values and choices reveal what we truly believe and in those revelations we learn who we are. Some begin to believe they are satisfied and other wilt under the deterioration of loneliness and despair. However reality tends to encroach itself on our expectations, lifting our facades and pulling the veil of our idealism off our faces.

“God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.” This quote by C.S. Lewis is remarkable because it stands in contrast to the modern day view of happiness, which comes pre-packaged with God’s sanction that all should be happy according to their own desires and wants. This reminds of when Jim Carrey plays God and grants everybody’s prayers by replying yes to their requests; the world turned to chaos. Of course what is missing from the pursuit of happiness above and beyond any other ideal is the intimacy of knowing God: who he is, what he is about, why he loves us, and what his story is all about.

Consider Isaiah 35:1-2: “Let the desert and dry region be happy; let the wilderness rejoice and bloom like a lily! Let it richly bloom; let it rejoice and shout with delight! It is given the grandeur of Lebanon, the splendor of Carmel and Sharon. They will see the grandeur of the LORD, the splendor of our God.” God’s happiness comes with God, because it is God himself who is happy. Everything else is circumstantial and uncontrollable, though we try to make it for ourselves as if it we could mix up the right ingredients and produce it from our ovens like a warm cake. We tell ourselves that God wants us to be happy to justify the amount of time we spend every day putting the ingredients together trying to make our lives happier at the expense of our relationship with God. We have traded the God of happiness in for our idea of what is happiness… we find ourselves unfulfilled, so we buy more stuff, get larger houses, smoke, eat lots of comfort food, blame others for our lack of happiness, wrestle and struggle with a world full of people also fighting for their personal happiness. It’s exhausting.

I know and write these things because it’s incredibly tempting to fall into the temptation of thinking that happiness is something that I can create for myself instead of it being a gift that comes from a deep rooted relationship with God himself.

Today I Chased The Sun

johnshelley — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 02:19:55 +0000

Today was an incredible day filled with relaxation, sunshine, and ease of mind. Coffee in the morning followed by afternoon lounging on the patio. The concerns of the week faded into background and my mind began to relax, discovering the need for true rest. I walked down to the lake at my house and surveyed the dark water, paying special attention to the patches of Water Lilies in full bloom. The picture above is of one of them… incredible beauty. Later, I went and looked them up online, only to discover that these delicate water plants only bloom during the day.

After a nap, I decided to chase the sun; that is I got into my car, camera in tow and looked for places where sun beams would pierce forest walls. Realizing I had started a bit late, I noticed the clouds where becoming thicker and drifting at such a slow pace that the sun would expose their giant fluffy bodies to its radiance in such a way that the sun rays would look like white rain falling in the distance. I took many photos and will need to sift through them, so perhaps tomorrow I will be able to post a few. By the way, the photo above was taken with my I-Phone 4.

Dramatic Clouds at Jump Off Rock

johnshelley — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 00:40:58 +0000

I went to Jump Off Rock today and shot about 150 photos. The photos above are some of my favorites. The clouds were dramatic displaying all sorts of moods, revealing a landscape full of story. I took the photos with my Olympus PEN EP-1. Hope you enjoy the slideshow.

Wisdom, Desire, Trust, and Hope

johnshelley — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 03:04:47 +0000

James 3:17 “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, accommodating, full of mercy and good fruit,impartial, and not hypocritical. 3:18 And the fruit that consists of righteousnessis planted in peace amongthose who make peace.”

It is easy to recognize the kind of wisdom that betrays the characteristics above. The litmus test of Godly wisdom is noticeable, attractive, safe, and truly loving. It is something achieved by a loving relationship with our Heavenly Father, conceived by the Holy Spirit, and matured in a life lived full of faith and grace. It’s sincerity glows within a person. I see it in those mature Christians whom I admire and desire to be like. While it’s easy to be wise in my own eyes, the disgrace of my self-evaluation is evidential.

Godly wisdom is relational, true, sincere, and a product of something beyond ourselves. It cannot be forced, created, manipulated, bought, or sustained by one’s own efforts. It’s sanctity is it’s calling card: a reflection of who God is to ourselves and others. It’s interesting how love, wisdom, holiness, godliness, and beauty are not characteristics of man alone but qualities given to man through a relational faith and devotion to Christ. It is then, through that relationship that these things are produced in us… flowing to others satisfying the curiosity and thirst of those who desperately need hope.

Without Godly wisdom we will have a litany of desires welling up within ourselves and when undisclosed create a fury of internal conflicts pressing demands on our hearts to the point of exhaustion. Eventually, we discover that the contraband of complacency is self-pity and find ourselves wondering how we arrived at this point in our lives. It is in Godly wisdom that we speak up, making our hearts known to God, trusting his goodness and letting go of the need to control our lives. Of course, the acrimonious life is possible: seeking control and laying our own foundations, letting go of Christ, and sustaining our direction without the impending structure of Christianity. What could possibly be more frustrating than to know our heart’s desire and not trust God to lead us towards his desires while also aligning our heart with his? From my own experience, I know of no other time in my life that has been more difficult than when I forgo trust in God and pursue my own desires without seeking first the love of Christ.

White Blank Page

johnshelley — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 01:55:51 +0000

05 – White Blank Page

I keep coming back to this song from Mumford and Sons. I find it intriguing because there appears to be three persons the singer/song writer is speaking to. The first person the song writer assesses blame and questions their motives, the second person is questioned (not blamed) but participatory with the first person. The third person is God… the remaining person left to turn to in the moment of rage…. exhausted he addresses God by saying, “lead me to the truth and I will follow you my whole life.” This response or request of God is necessary because what he thought was true turned out to be a lie. Essentially its a song about loss and starting over, since it is with a white blank page that you start over, learning what is true and what is not. What is also intriguing about the title of the song is that if a person offers a white blank page, they are offering forgiveness as well, that is its a statement that the page contains nothing to hold onto or hold someone to. It’s a declaration, but its a declaration coupled with dramatic change in the melody of the song; it’s almost as if the the rage and the blank page are held in tension. Then the music / melody changes again and the listener is left to judge whether or not the blank page or the rage won at the end of the day. Who knows… these are just guesses, however I have found myself drawn in to this song many times over the last year.

If you haven’t heard the song it is poignant, emotional, and fits the meaning of the words in an incredibly profound way.

Can you lie next to her
And give her your heart, your heart
As well as your body
And can you lie next to her
And confess your love, your love
As well as your folly
And can you kneel before the king
And say I’m clean, I’m clean

Chorus:
But tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with all my heart
Oh tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with all my heart

A white blank page and a swelling rage, rage
You did not think when you sent me to the brake, the brake
You desired my attention but denied my affections, my affections

Chorus

Lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life
Lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life

Pain, Depression, and Beauty (Part 2)

johnshelley — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 06:41:49 +0000

Gray and white puffy clouds drift over my head at such a slow pace that they seem to desire the sunshine absorbed into their large bodies, eating and digesting the light. They are glowing and luminous as they provide shade and dispense light at the same time. They call to each other, band into communities, shaping and creating new entities; finding a way to unify and diversify at the same time:

There is something about pain that drives the senses to their maximum capacity, which is why those struggling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder report their nerves and muscles experiencing tinges of hypersensitivity. Some have reported being so alert that the slightest of noises such as the beeping of an alarm or a cellphone ringing can make them jump and their muscles jerk. So is it possible to direct that hypersensitivity towards other things that the body reacts to, such as beauty? What happens when we take the negative effects of pain and use it to sharpen our skills to detect and observe the beautiful? Sometimes, I wonder if we are so busy medicating our depression and grieving hearts that we forget that these emotions are not evil and sometimes in life it is perfectly normal to feel them. Why not feel them and allow them to teach us how we see the world differently? Why is it that we cannot talk about being in pain? It’s as if the world is afraid to come face to face with that terrible emotion that invites fear and doubt. I am fascinated by the connection between beauty and pain; and why Christians don’t like to talk much about either of the two.

Beauty is the decipher for a coded world jaded by the humiliation of being unable to save itself from itself. It is the heart beat of a majestic being, a gateway to renewal. In it’s discovery we find harmony, peace, structure, stability, quietness, inspiration, and glory. It is the silent reminder or the ground shaking voice of that which is powerful; it stirs and compels our inner thoughts and emotions. It forces us to look beyond ourselves, to ask significant questions of purpose and existence; it feeds our longing to know that their is something powerful, moving, and generous. Beauty shocks us out of ourselves, demands our attention and requires us to forfeit self-pity and anxiety. Beauty is exotic and supernatural; its mere presence draws us in and out and away and towards, flinging our attention across the heavens from start to star. Beauty is the salve Christ uses to tend to our wounds and it is the visible hope demonstrated by a God that created beauty in such a way that it would affect the very fibers of our being. Beauty is a gift from a loving God who knew we needed a world filled with flowers and mountains, a glowing moon, and rainy days for all those times we would weep and look out the window. Beauty is grace in a flower.